Hit the “Pause” button. “If you are agitated, do not send an email, reply to a text, open your mouth or pick up the phone,” advises Judith Orloff, MD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of Emotional Freedom. Reacting to a situation with a hot head may only make it worse. “Take the time to listen to your gut before proceeding,” says Dr. Orloff.Breathe from your belly. Place one hand on your chest and breathe deeply, allowing your belly to expand. The hand on your chest should not move. “Diaphragmatic breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which acts as a brake when the flight or fight response is activated,” explains Fresco. Watch this video for more breathing techniques to help you relax.Cop to your part. High credit card bill got you down? Facing the behavior that caused it can help you regain control—and to not do the same thing again. “Do your best to own whatever part you have brought to a situation,” says Fresco, who says honest self-assessment is a key part of psychotherapeutic treatment. “We are responsible, at least in part, for both the good and the bad that arises in our lives. Acknowledging responsibility means taking control, and that can be soothing in and of itself.”Don’t pile on. If that credit card bill has you bemoaning your future in the poorhouse because you are a financial failure, you’re less likely to do anything to change your behavior. “Stress can cause people to ascribe greater meaning to a setback than it merits,” explains Fresco. “Seeing a new stressor in this way can be demoralizing and may prevent you from considering and taking effective actions that can resolve or lessen the impact of some stressful situation.”Take the long view. Literally. Envision the entire narrative of your life on a stretched canvas. “This allows you to see that today’s stressor is, at most, a small blemish that blends into the scenery of this panoramic perspective,” explains Fresco. “When we have perspective, our canvas has plenty of room for our signature successes and our epic failures.”
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